Sunday, April 14, 2019

Turning 60

It's been a rough 6 months.  
Started in August (2018) when my mother called and asked me to take her to urgent care when it opened the next day.  Raised by a Christian Scientist, my mother doesn't like to go to doctors, and usually delayed seeing one until she couldn't manage on her own anymore.  So, this call sent a shiver down my spine.  
The next morning it got worse when she opted for Emergency at her favorite hospital.  A very long day later, and she was admitted pending surgery on a tumor in her colon.  
A week later, the surgery seemed successful, and a week after that she was up and walking.  
And then it all went sideways.  

She died October 7th, 2018.  She couldn't eat or drink - even water.  Her system was just in pieces.  While there was some temporary hope, it evaporated as she became unable to eat and just got weaker.  
Lowlights: me arguing loudly with the Hospital Doctor who wanted to discharge her when she was in so much pain she was crying - a first in her life.  Mom never cried from pain.  Luckily our friend Leslie had her cardiac doctor on speed dial, and he showed up in jeans and a sweatshirt, and put her in intensive care.  She survived the night.  
Then there were the battling oncologists: 2 different doctors with 2 opinions on treatment.  
And then there was Trident, who took over a month to file for her Death Certificate, and then 2 more months to deliver it to us.  

There were highlights: Mom's friends and neighbors all contributed to making our life easier.  Watching her house and feeding her cat until I could find him a good home.  
Leslie, our angel with more hospital experience than should be necessary.  
Mission Hospice who made everything easy at the end.  
And, the whole family coming to Pajaro Dunes to give her a lovely goodbye in the waves of her favorite place in the Pacific.  

I realize I didn't mention that my wonderful brother was there the whole time  -  visiting her in the morning, while I visited after work.  

The sad part: she didn't make it to my 60th year.  I remember hers.  It was a big surprise party, but she wan't surprised.  She died the youngest of any female in my family for 3 generations.  

---- continued

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