Spring Blues

Spring is here. My cars are green with pollen, and I survived my spring cold. The hills are brilliant green, and will certainly still be green on my birthday. 
But I'm still unsettled. 

Work is nice: I get to work with a bunch of nice people on a early iMac "network". Since I got assigned the IT guru in the first week, I now get to learn more stuff (like how to uninstall Office 2008 from a 2007 iMac).  The commute is great, and the "other duties as assigned" includes walking this lovely, sweet pile of fur called Spicer. The commute has no traffic, and one of the best curvy roads in the area. 
Why am I still not happy?

Glenn and family have moved back into the area, and I get to see them every so often, which is always a blast. Mom is thrilled they're back.  She's doing OK, playing bridge, needlepointing and dealing with tech.  
But I still worry about her. 

For some unknown reason I've lost 20 pounds in the last 8 months. More sleep?  Cooking for myself? Strep Throat?  
I should be thrilled.  

The best I can manage is content. 
That's not a bad place to be - certainly a step up from sleep deprived and stressed.  I just don't know where to go next. 

Life, part 2

I finally have a job. 
I enjoyed my year's vacation, but I really needed to get back to work. Nothing scientific - I've explored all those jobs, and there was nothing in my field. 
So, I'm now a bookkeeper.  Back to where I started!  Thanks Dad - you trained me well. 

I'm doing paper & pencil bookkeeping for a small travel agency that specializes in scientific based trips: eclipses, transits, botany and exotic locations. High end.  I don't get to do any traveling (yet), but I've seen their trips for years and wanted to go there & do that. 

Location?  Dream commute!  It's at the top of Montebello Road, right below Ridge Winery. I really enjoy the drive.  But it's taking a toll on my brakes and gas mileage. 

In memory of my “Little Green Eyes”

Original Post: Monday, April 27, 2015

I still miss little Tigger.  She had the most beautiful green eyes although she would never let you see them. I wish she had lived long enough to become a loving pet. I found this song and wrote down the lyrics when she died, but haven’t posted them for some reason. 

Little Green Eyes

Words: Mercedes Lackey, Music: Kathy Mar

Silent City, silent ruin stands alone.

Nothing left there but a wall piled stone on stone.

And beneath it, where the cellar used to be

lies a hidden sheltered place no one can see.

From that rubble two green eyes appear and blink, 

and a tabby cat steps timid through a chink.

In the twilight, in the silent evening gloom,

Tabby shadow runs with joy from room to room. 

Here his chair and there his bowl, and all the rest,

and his people, all the ones that he loves best.

With a tiny cry of bliss he greets them there.

Was it magic brought them back to him again?

Little Green Eyes, is it hunger makes you see,

all the walls now where your old home used to be?

Little Green Eyes, is it cold that clouds your sight

so the phantom fills with sound and warmth and light?

Little Green Eyes is it loneliness at last

makes you build once more this vision of the past.

But the vision disappears into the night.

Gone the people, banished are the warmth and light. 

Little Green Eyes you are by your hopes betrayed

all your memories are shadows and they fade. 

When they've left your self deceit you realize.

is it human grief and loss that fills your eyes?

Tabby shadow slips in sorrow to the stone

Little Green Eyes curled in pain so all alone.

But as dawn breaks and the stones are touched with light,

he is fading with the shadows and the night.

Little Green Eyes isn't really there at all,

one more ghost that haunts this fine old crumbling wall.

Little Green Eyes, is it hunger makes you see,

all the walls now where your old home used to be?

Little Green Eyes, is it cold that clouds your sight

so the phantom fills with sound and warmth and light?

Little Green Eyes is it loneliness at last

makes you build once more this vision of the past.

Rusty - Later

Original Post: Monday, March 31, 2014

Still my beautiful big boy.  Happy to be an only cat, and still very friendly and outgoing.

Dream

Original Post: Sunday, September 9, 2012

I had a dream - a last dream before waking - vivid and clear in 3 out of 5 senses. 

I was sitting in my Jeep, and Tigger was sitting on the seat next to me.  She was sleek and svelte, her tail was full length, her eyes brilliant green.  She was purring, and I pet her just as I would any other cat - and her fur was soft as silk. 

And that was it.  

There are some problems with this reality.  Other than the utter impossibility of her purring or my casually petting her, the Jeep has bucket seats - not a bench seat - so she couldn’t be sitting next to me.  And I would never drive the cats in the Jeep except as a last resort.  

But there she was, the perfect and happy cat that I never knew. 

Farewell Tigger

Original Post: Sunday, September 18, 2011

Tigger finally gave up her fight with kidney disease.  Just like Silverfeet, she suddenly stopped eating (and throwing up) and just faded away to fur and bones.  My poor Little Green Eyes.  She did survive twice as long as the vet predicted. 

    The sad part is that she actually started getting friendly in the last month.  First she would sit next to me and let me pet her, then she would stagger over and lie down in my lap and would give her grumpy meow if I tried to move.  

    I finally got a picture of her beautiful green eyes.  

Hopefully she’s purring in Margaret’s lap. 

One year later

Original Post: Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Well, it’s a bit more than a year, but here she is!  I don’t know exactly what she weighs because I still can’t pick her up, but there is about half as much as before.  And she hasn’t been starving either.  While she eats amazingly fast, she usually leaves a couple of bites for Rusty. . 

January 2010

January 2011